Be warned


A new US Army Captain was assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the Iraq desert. During his first inspection of the outfit, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asks the First Sergeant why the camel is kept there. “Well sir, as you know, there are 250 men here on the post and no women... and... sometimes the men have 'urges'. That's why we have Molly The Camel”. The Captain says, “I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about 'urges'. The camel can stay”.

About a month later, the Captain starts having his own 'urges' and asks the First Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent. Putting a ladder behind the camel, the Captain stands on the ladder, pulls his pants down and has wild, insane sex with Molly. When he's done, he asks the First Sergeant, “Is that how the men do it?”. “No not really, sir... They usually just ride the camel into town where the girls are”.

HYSTERICAL !!!!

Oh how disappointing I thought it said Surge, and was looking forward to reading something about the situation in Afghanistan......

KANDAHAR, Afghanistan—In a rare break from traditional military secrecy, the U.S. and its allies are announcing the precise target of their first big offensive of the Afghanistan surge in an apparent bid to intimidate the Taliban.

Is that a common kiwi habit?

Dusting off jokes that have a beard that's grown so long they stand the risk of stepping on it?

Or is it just you figuring that the old pharts on this forum wouldn't remember a joke even if it had been told to them the day before?

OH MY GOD !!!!

I heard this joke when I was in the Air Force - that was 30 years ago !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can't believe it's still doing the rounds - still as they say the old ones are the best - (Does that me mean me or the joke - not sure !!)

As for rude stuff...

The doctor told me I had to stop masturbating.

"Why?" I asked him.

"Because I'm trying to examine you," he said.

Those jokes are so old, they would need a bottle of viagra to get be considered stand up comedy!

Old jokes huh.
Just goes to show how young I am. So you all heard it before eh. Some of us are still wet behind the ears you know.

In fact...dare I say that am still pondering on the deep meaning of sjs's contribution. Ahhh innocence.

Ok you whingers give us some current ones then.

A renowned and famous cardiologist dies, hundreds are gathered and seated at the crematorium and as a gesture of his brilliant work the entrance to the funeral pire has been designed into the shape of a heart so that as the coffin enters the heart opens, closes behind him and takes him to his eternal resting place. As the doors close on the coffin a fit of laughter is heard at the back of the seats. Disgusted, the crowd turn and look at the man laughing

" I'm soo sorry!" says the man "but I'm a gynaecologist, I would love to see my funeral!".......with that the proctologist fainted!

ugh..what's a proctologist?

Proctologist...is someone who pokes around the front portion of your name, kolo-fardos. Hope that clears up any illusions of grandeur

Oh so we're talking about good old KP then are we

Yes quite correct Kiwi, proc·tol·o·gy (prŏk-tŏl'ə-jē) is
the branch of medicine that deals with the diagnosis and treatment of disorders affecting the colon, rectum, and anus.
Therefor a Proctologist is a person practicing this form of medicine, it is not at all clear how this person fits into Chanchi's tale however as there appears to be no previous mention of the individual.

OK

So imagine the heart doctor's coffin goes through the open heart which closes to form a full heart,

The gynaecologist laughs as he imagines a vagina closing on his coffin as he goes through,

The proctologist fainted imagining an anus closing around his coffin!

Need I say more